“For I have learned that every heart will get
what it prays for Most.”
To move forward on my journey of healing, assessing the traits I carried that held me back was important. I had to see my co-dependency’s to step away from them, and I had to differentiate between false independence to meet real independence. I had to leave behind my “me against the world” attitude, and negative self-beliefs that nobody would love or support me, and step into authentic independence with boundaries that welcomed my blessings. It all started with getting clear on what I want.
Every choice that I have made of clarity so far has rewarded me with benefits. I have left behind many beliefs, habits, and even dreams, and although I have gained less in quantity, my lighter load is of much more value. I’ve finally given up the role of being a Bag Lady and cleared enough space for all the desires of my heart to reach me. But the clear space showed me that I had to revisit my desires and get even clearer.
Starting with my desires for a family…
A few years ago, I wrote my first 30-before-30 list. Included on the list was that I wanted to be married and have my first two children. By the second year of revisiting the list, I lost sight of my dreams and erased those wishes. I was so scared that I was setting myself up for failure that I didn’t give my hearts biggest desires a chance. However, over time, and especially more recently, the calling of my heart has gotten louder. I do want to be married with children, or with child, in the next three years. From the doubtful mind of my past that sounded unattainable, but from my honest mind, that is more than enough time.
I’m not afraid of redirection anymore and it wouldn’t be the end of the world if my family didn’t start within that timeframe. But my intuition is telling me my family will come as soon as I get clear on what I want – and what I want is them.
Recently I’ve been feeling my children in spirit. It is intensified the more that I thank God for taking care of them, which is something that I do every night along with thanking God for taking care of my husband. I’ve noticed that since connecting more with their spirits, I get peace even from the things that used to ignite overwhelm in me. It shows me that I am on the right track.
I never wanted to carry over the baggage of my past into my future. I wanted to leave all the things that weighed me down behind before I started a family. From giving up habits like smoking, to building up the strength to walk away from things that never served me, there were important things I wished to do before union. Finally, I can say that now I am in my power; and I have taken completed the toughest, and most necessary, steps.
As well as the choices I’ve made personally, the Divine is supporting me with the things outside of my control. I’m so close to my finish line, making this the ideal time for me to re-evaluate the type of love that I want to meet me at the beginning of my new chapter.
Some of the dreams that I had before were prayed for from a fear-riddled heart, so now with full confidence and stronger connection to Spirit, it is time for me to go all in – to reach for the stars of love with clear intention.
My heart has been called to sit with a few journal prompts/questions, and to share them with any of you who are also in this stage of your journey:
- Envision the type of love that you want and what it looks like. What does it smell like? What does it sound like? Is there anything that it reminds you of? Have you seen an example of that love before?
- Is there anything that you need to change, or steps you need to take, to be able to receive that type of love that you want?
- What kind of love are you able to give? Does it match the love that you are requiring? Is it unconditional? If your love has conditions, will you be able to also meet those conditions in return?
- How will you work towards receiving the love that you desire? Is there something that you need to walk away from to get it? Is there a job that you need to leave behind? Is there a risk that you need to take? Is there a country that you need to move to?
Write it all down and set your intentions clearly.
Hold onto them if you’d like something special to revisit when your dreams come to fruition.
Although my intentions were not completely clear, my consistent prayers for my future were heard and responded to with signs that led me to stronger faith and the clarity to move forward. Is there a sign of redirection in your life that you’ve noticed?
May your desires be nurtured with consistency, set with clear intentions and met with love.
I love you and I honour the divine in you.
Love and light, Liss x