2017 is soon done, and as I reflect on the intense year that I’ve had under this new moon, I’m preparing myself for a fresh year with new goals and experiences ahead. With that being said, my heart has been quite heavy throughout this whole entire year and something that I’m very sure of is that in 2018 I can’t bear that weight any longer.
For those who have been keeping up with my blog since it started – huge thank you, by the way – you’ll notice that I wasn’t ever as active on social media as I am now. I kept a lot of things very private, didn’t even allow people who read my blog to have access to me other than on here and those who knew me personally weren’t allowed access to my blog. It was much easier that way.
However, I’ve been working hard for years on myself and projects and in order to push forward in the direction I envision for myself, publicising certain parts of my life (i.e. talents etc.) was pivotal. So, after a rocky start to the year, I decided to use social media effectively and start networking in person (going to work events etc.) and participating in things that would help me and others – although it’s been very uncomfortable.
Throughout this uncomfortable yet necessary process, I’ve met some amazing people and also realised who (out of those already in my life prior to this) actually love and support me. It’s not surprising to me that the amount of genuine support from loved ones is LOW, because I already knew that outside of my immediate family there weren’t much people that cared about me – but, woah!
The friends that I thought had love for me before really don’t. The friends that I’ve supported through so much and shared my dreams with pretend to be blind when they see me doing well.
I don’t expect a “well done” or a “congratulations” from anyone, I’m trying to live my best life for ME and make MYSELF proud – first and foremost. I pat myself on the back daily and thank God multiple times between waking up and falling asleep, so that is enough for me. It’s not the lack of love that bothers me deeply, it’s the fake love that is excruciatingly painful. Not painful as in “OMG my friend isn’t loyal, my heart is broken”, but painful as in “OMG can you stop pretending to care about me because I know you’re lying and it’s embarrassing for you. Ew!”
There are people that may be offended by what I’m saying, because I’m talking about them and clearly of things that they have done, yet they don’t read my blog anyway (although they pretend that they do, not knowing that I can actually see the statistics), so if they see this then that’s GOD. Hey fake friends, kick rocks!
My blog is literally like a diary, sometimes I’ll post news and other things, but the posts that mean the most to me are the personal things that I share. Those are the things that I’ll share and ask for feedback on.
If you notice, when I share music journalism posts or news I’m not asking for feedback because I don’t need it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice and appreciated, but ultimately all you can give me feedback on is whether my actual writing is good or not – the song, news… isn’t mine, so saying “love that track” means nil to me.
When I post about my addictions, for example, then I’ll ask for feedback because I want to know if someone can relate, if it helped someone etc. I want to connect with people on a deeper level than just popular things. I’m a whole entire human being with a heart and a soul, do people really think that I literally only want to talk about what’s popular, or gossip? I absolutely DO NOT!!
I’ll give you some examples.
I shared a blog post one day, it was personal, and people had seen it. A “friend” of mine came onto my Instagram and started liking a bunch of pictures of me (selfies – nothing about writing) but had clearly seen it and skipped past. That’s fine, not everyone wants to read… so it didn’t bother me. Then, someone else (who my fugazi friend doesn’t like for no reason) said it was good, and all of a sudden here comes fake the snake with her compliments. However, I can see the statistics and see where people are located and are reading my posts.
THERE WERE NO VIEWS FROM WHERE THIS PERSON IS LOCATED.
Even at that point, I thought “well, it is the internet and it’s not always perfect so maybe it will show up tomorrow”… it didn’t. So, me being me (I love to test people), asked her what she thought about a specific bit (which wasn’t in the post – I made it up to see the reaction) and just as I expected, she started spewing garbage about how much that part resonated and it was her favourite bit.
Your favourite bit of my post is a part that isn’t even in it? Please please please… get out of here!
Another example is when another “friend” of mine decided to post me on her social media and express her undying love and pride for me and all I’ve achieved this year. Baring in mind, I couldn’t tell you the last time we spoke for her to actually know my accomplishments. Yet, here she is making up what she assumes that I’ve achieved and telling everyone how proud she is of me for things that aren’t even a big deal to me.
Anyone reading this, who’s read any previous post of mine, will know that I’m an OPEN BOOK. If you ask me a question, I’ll answer it, unless I don’t have the answer or don’t want to. Either way, I’ll voice that. So, if you’re going to pretend to be proud of me and love me, would you not think, “Hey! Let me ask Liss what she’s been up to before I write this post full of shit”… No? Is that too hard? Oh, okay. Cool.
I didn’t respond. I didn’t say thank you. I literally ignored it… and she said nothing directly to me about it. I’m sure she’s aware that I saw it but I honestly don’t care. For me not to say thank you, I clearly smell bullshit because I say thank you for practically everything.
However, the purpose of her post wasn’t to express her love for me or how proud she is of her friend… it was to tell people “my friends doing this” in a show-off way. The reason why I know this is because she mentioned music industry work that I’m doing at the forefront of her silly post, name-dropping and all – which is so gross to me. She wanted to let people know who I know, like it’s a popularity contest, but she clearly never thought about what she would do when her friends asked her for a “hook up” and she couldn’t deliver because I don’t do favours for fake people.
I don’t even let people know who I know unless the person comes up in conversation and I have to give the red flag like “that’s the homie so if it’s not gonna be positive then don’t say it around me” but that’s it. So, why would someone brag about who someone else knows… when #1 you don’t work with them and #2 THEY’RE ONLY PEOPLE?!
If you knew someone who had died, met Allah in Jannah and then resurrected to tell the story, that would make more sense to me… because they met Allah and we’re all trying to get there… but a person walking the earth, like you and me, that’s just weird.
She’s not the only one who did that, there were a few others who did almost the same thing but hers stood out a bit more because she really sensationalised what I’ve been doing and we haven’t spoken to one another for a long time.
I’m used to fugazi friends, it’s nothing new, especially the ones that use me for a “good look” – for example the ones who introduce me as “the virgin friend”, the ones who ask me to come with them to see their boyfriend and his pals so they can say “she’s a good girl, she stays at home and goes to work” to impress them controlling guys that love house bunnies. Bore off. Then, we’ve got the ones that take my reserved nature as a weakness, so will publicly try and have an attitude to make it look like they can tell me what to do – which backfires harshly every time. Where do I find these people?
I’m using my blog as an example to lead this post but things didn’t start there. At the beginning of the year I experienced a few heartbreaking things and a lot of people stuck themselves to me, just to say they were there, where are they now? In the middle of the year I helped a lot of people find their feet, and put things on hold for myself for them, where are they now? I could literally write a novel on fake friends this year alone, and another on fake family members too but this post is as much energy as I’ll give to them.
Moral of the story: They’ve all been losers and I thought that I’d gotten rid of all of them before but this year showed me that there are still a few attention seeking fake love showing monkeys about – that need to go!
So, I’ve realised that 2017 was the year of the clear out – it was a test. Big things are happening for me and God needs me to dump all of the clutter in the bin, without hoarding onto any dead friendships, and move forward. I need the blankest canvas for 2018 – and I’m glad that I’ve acknowledged that before the year is over.
2017 = growth, realisation, taking risks, finding balance and overcoming my final fears.
2018 = combining all that I’ve learnt in 2017 to become Liss 2.0 – and continue flying forward in my best form.
If you’ve read this and you feel like you’re one of the people I’m talking about (there were so many other examples but I don’t have time, it’s not that deep to keep wasting my energy writing this) then here’s a message for you…
Dear fake friend,
It’s been nice knowing you but the games have now got to come to an end. I acknowledged your behaviours long ago, however something about you made me have hope that your intentions would be pure… more so for how much I loved you. I love my friends like they’re family to me, and you were one of those people. It’s over now. Don’t reach out and don’t support me from a distance because it’s too late. I wish you well in your future, far the fuck away from me. Please don’t make things awkward for yourself when you see me in person, we will not be conversing as I’ve stated that the friendship is over. Keep it moving, and I shall do the same. If you’re wondering how to get over me basically saying fuck you then take the advice that I’ve given you previously (because I’ve told every single friend this at some point)… if someone cuts you off, fuck them and move forward. It’s ok to say “fuck Liss” out loud now because your behaviour has felt like a fuck you anyway.
For my lovely readers, soul family, real friends and social media angels that have come into my life – thank you!
I’ve found a Top 50 Quotes on Fake Friends list that I thought may be helpful for some people in my position – you can view it here.
Also, as music is my life, I couldn’t leave this here without giving you a track-list of songs that I listen to when I’m fuming, or even slightly bothered, by the hateration in this dancery (basically fake people). It’s not in any specific order but I’m sure you can download the tracks on iTunes or Spotify. (I have them purchased so I’m not 100% sure, sorry)
Jay – Z – Lost One
TLC – Case Of The Fake People
Kanye West – Real Friends
Gangstarr feat. Scarface – Betrayal
Lauryn Hill – Lost Ones
Cypress Hill – One Last Cigarette
2pac – Hit Em Up
Amy Winehouse – Best Friends
Thank you for reading.