“It’s okay. You just forgot who you were for a moment. Welcome back!”
After almost a year long hiatus I’m back. I don’t even know where the time has gone because it honestly doesn’t feel that long to me but time really does fly; although I wasn’t having fun. I’ve had a long battle with depression and consecutive fibro flare ups, the death of a loved one and a very stressful university year with insane exams but I’ve come through the other side and I’m okay!
I have so many things to share with you all from the trips abroad that I haven’t yet mentioned, the new restaurants I’ve tried, the books I’ve read and the films I’ve watched. Plus there are a lot of things I’ve learned over this past year that I think will be helpful to at least someone and I have MORE RECIPES (and some DIY tricks too)!
So to give an update of where I am in life at the moment I’ll start by referring back to my 30 before 30 list. Since I first posted it I have now been able to tick off numbers 1, 10, 27 and 30. I went to Bali, I volunteered abroad, I touched (and fed, hugged and washed) a bunch of elephants and I stopped using heat on my hair for a whole year. I’m currently on my second year of no heat actually and in less than 3 months I will have had 2 years no heat; and my hair is so much healthier and bigger! As well as having 4 more things ticked off my list, I’m working on 4 more things (numbers 3, 4, 8 and 14). I’m in the process of writing not one but 2 books which should be completed very soon, I should be graduating next year as I’m about to embark on my final university module, I’ve stopped cutting my hair and it is currently past my bra so we’re getting closer to waist length and after spending almost £1000 in the dentist over the past few months I will be getting my braces very soon to fix my teeth!
As time passed I didn’t even realise that I had achieved any of the things I had wanted to until I sat down to write this. I literally fell into a dark whole of nothingness, and although I was still getting on with life, I was numb. I felt like a robot and was unable to feel any emotion other than sadness or bitterness but now I’m in a better place I’m actually very proud of myself.
I’m slowly and surely getting back to normal. My nails are done, my hair is brushed and I’m back in work socialising instead of being in bed in pyjamas watching every morbid documentary I can find online. The little things are the things that really count. I never thought I would miss work until I was off sick for a long time and then I missed it. I never thought that getting my nails done mattered that much to be until I had bitten them down beyond belief and started to hide my hands. I didn’t realise than getting my eyebrows done made me look 10x more awake than leaving them to grow into little slug bushes did. These things won’t matter to everyone, we all have our own ‘little things’ but whatever yours are, find them and don’t neglect yourself.
Well, this was just me saying hello and letting you all know that I’m back now. I want to start blogging at least twice a week but I’m yet to decide on the days. I will find a way to ease everything I missed out on over my hiatus into everything new that I’m doing. It feels good to be back!
Speak to you all soon.