I don’t wish to be saved by you

Here you are
Back right on time
And as I watch your arm reach down into my well of darkness
And as I hear your faint cries of sweet nothings
The proclaims you make of being here to free me from my darkness
Flashbacks of the times you let me go
The times our fingers touched until our hands gripped
The times you pulled and I climbed until the light was in clear view
The times I heard the voices of women
Multiple women
And like an excited child in a toy store
You let distraction take over
And like an excited child in a toy store
You saw something else you wanted to play with
Some things else you wanted to play with
And like the battered blanket a child has outgrown
You threw me back into the pits of hell
To be trodden on
To be trolley rolled over
To be battered and bruised
Left and lost
Forgotten…

Over

And over

And over again

Make the thought of a life stuck in this darkness
Make the thought of never seeing the light again
Make the thought of living a life of seclusion in this black hole
Seem like riding a unicorn into heavens gates
And contrary to the feels I had
Longing for you to come back and rescue me
I realise in this moment
Although I wish to be saved
I don’t wish to be saved by you

Sharing my feelings in writing is the best relief for me and at present, I need to release. How do you express your feelings? Do you draw, dance, sing? Please share with me because I would like to know. Also, thank you for reading.

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