One of the things that I am great for is giving advice to others however I very rarely, to the point I could count it on my hands, ask for it myself. My reason behind this is that I believe that the best advice you can get will come from yourself.
I’ve given myself advice in numerous ways, some have worked and some have failed, but I always revert to my ultimate favourite and most effective way which I’ll share with you.
(Side note: I don’t know if this is an “actual” theory. I personally came up with the idea on my own when I was about 12 and gave it a name but with how effective it is, I’ll be surprised if it’s not an actual theory used somewhere out there in the world)
My note-to-self theory starts with writing a letter expressing your dilemma. It can be a paragraph or it can be 10 pages long, whatever you’re going through and struggling with, write it ALL down. Imagine you are writing to an agony-aunt or your go-to friend that usually gives you advice.
Once you’ve written the note/letter put it aside for a short while, sometimes I write it at night and sleep on it or other times I have a cup of tea and then get back to it. I believe that you should always have a break between writing different things; and this break gives you time to reverse your role. However, what works for me may not work for you and you can write your response immediately if you feel like it.
Now read the letter back as if someone had given it to you and reply. Make bullet points of all of the key points, in order to break it down and simplify it. Then give advice for each point. Remember not to personalise it. Give the advice you would give to a friend, or even a stranger, and get straight to the point. Once you get going it becomes easier to detach yourself, sometimes I get so carried away and creative that I forget it is about me. Other times I respond with such “common-sense” advice and laugh to myself about how I made something so simple seem like such a big deal.
Now you’ve finished. You can read it back, you can stick it on your wall as a reminder until you’ve worked through all of the issues or you can fold it up and turn it into a paper plane and make it fly as far as possible, taking your worries along with it. As I said before, it really is your choice how you do it and what you do with it.
The process in itself is the healer but I do find that keeping the letter helps me because I then work through each point of advice, ticking them as I go along, until I’ve worked through all of them.
Once I’m finished I feel much better within myself and with my life.
(NB. Feel free to ask me any questions if anything doesn’t make sense to you.)
Thank you for reading!
Lots of love, Liss x